Jesus

From the Gospel and Jesus' teaching, almost every word I heard from his mouth is like from the Heaven and is full of truth and lightning. They woke me up from darkness.

But toward two verses I have been always having questions. The first one is from Matthew 5:28: 'But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.'

When I first read it I said to myself: 'this is too much! I am not saying looking at a woman lustfully is proper or respectful in any way. I think everybody should avoid that and respect others with their full heart. But if doing that is committing adultery, that is too much. I agree that everyone is a sinner, but if count that as a sin, it's not fair.

If against this is what God wanted us to be, why didn't God create us in another way? Why didn't he make us so that we could resemble the behavior of some deep sea ocean fish, one male attaches to a female at the time of hatching or birth, or at least like the old days, let parents or others to decide our future, everybody find their partner through arranged marriages so that people don't have to see and choose in order to love.

If just thinking in mind would become a sin and hurt somebody, why did not God create us so that people cannot hide their mind from others? In this way people will have a way to watch for it and protect themselves and others against sins to avoid becoming a victim.

While I was wondering, I realized that I was not the first one who got confused in this piece of teaching. Muhammad, who originated Muslim, also got some hard time here.

When Muhammad first read Jesus' teaching and tried his best to follow it. Instead of waiting for the last moment to be forgiven by Jesus, he also wanted to try his best to stay away from sins, to reduce his sins and be a righteous man.

But for this piece he just couldn't help. So after the first time he falls into this trap with a woman he prayed to God, asking solutions to keep himself from committing adultery. After praying again and again, he got the idea, marry her! If the two finally get married, then it should not be counted as adultery any more.

So after that, again and again he got married. Because every time he saw a beautiful woman, he tried his best not to fall into bad thought. But there were some cases, he failed to avoid, then for his selfishness and fear of falling into hell because of adultery. He would grab the lady and marry her. That was the reason for him to marry 15 times during his life time.

But a man is not designed to live with that many women, so he also suffered from it a lot. But he was afraid for committing adultery and the promised final judgment. He could not figure out other feasible solution to this problem.

When things went extreme, in Muslim, all the women were ordered to cover their faces with veils. This was not for protecting women themselves, but for protecting men from committing adultery and falling into hell.

So it could have been the most amazing miracle in the history. For over a thousand of years, over a billion women, are ordered or voluntarily (if they knew the reason, they could have been voluntarily doing that) to cover their face for their life time, just for the cause of one sentence from Jesus Christ.

Who are more loyal to Jesus Christ and want to follow his teaching, Muslims or Christians?

Another teaching from Jesus Christ that I was not feeling comfortable about was from Matthew 22:30 (there is mentioning of this similar piece in multiple places): 'At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.'


Is that how heaven would look like? If there is no love of man and woman existing in the heaven, I will prefer go to somewhere else, and I don't like to live like angels at all! If God was considerate, why did not he design the heaven differently?

At some point of my meditation, one idea suddenly came into my mind. Why Jesus was not married, why did not God give him a woman to love? Referring to another piece from Jesus on Matthew 19:10-13:

The disciples said to him, 'If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.'

Jesus replied, 'Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.'

Suddenly one wild idea popped up to myself: 'Jesus was a gay, Jesus was a gay!'

Because he was a gay, so he could preserve his mind and never looked at a woman with lust, because he was a gay, and the Jewish religion was so against him, and was forcing him toward a marriage with a woman, so in his dream, there should be no marriage in the heaven.

But he did not want to hurt anybody; instead, he loved everybody, and gave himself until the last drop of his blood to the whole world. He has no sin, being a gay is, was and has never been a sin. It was just those people at that time did not want to accept him.

To a straight person, being a gay is a sin. But from a gay's eye, being a straight man could be also counted as a sin, just think about the teaching of Jesus Christ in Matthew 5:28: 'But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.'

How about religions, Muslims to Christians, and Christians to Muslims? What kind of message was God trying to deliver to us through this thousand year long real life parable? Is it funny?!
Why this straight simple truth can be hidden from us for thousands of years. Who is hiding it, God or us?

But another question came to my mind: 'Why in the old testament, the scripture clearly stated that homosexual relationship was one of the worst sins?'